The Tail of Eggsy Unwin
by agentgalahad
Summary: After getting injected with a strange biochemical, Eggsy wakes to find himself as… a puppy. With nowhere to go, he ends up at Harry's house. The man takes him in, unknowing that his new pet is Eggsy. He gives him baths and feeds him treats. He complains about all his problems to the pup- including the fact that he's head over heels for the boy. But will Eggsy ever turn back…?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

* * *

Eggsy fingered the lock pick in his hand, trying desperately to fit it into the keyhole binding his wrists together while a man with way too much facial hair paced in front of him, monologuing until there was no fucking tomorrow. Behind the man was an enormous vat of bubbling electric blue liquid, topped off with an equally enormous ray zapper thingy pointed directly at Eggsy that looked as if had come straight out of a cartoon.

"Galahad, we're doing an analysis on the contents inside that tank," Merlin muttered into his ear. "Keep your eyes on it."

"-once they realize what I've created, it'll be too late!" the man cackled, throwing his hands up into the air in triumph.

"What the fuck…" Merlin muttered. "It seems to be some sort of biochemical fluid that reacts and transforms cells and… oh fuck, Eggsy, you have to get the fuck out of there, right now! Kill Dr. Daedalus while you're at it, will you?" Merlin hissed. Eggsy grimaced, biting back a string of curse words. The man's back was turned to him, so he took the opportunity to jam the pick into the keyhole, twisting and pivoting it until he heard the satisfying quiet click of the lock.

But it wasn't quiet enough.

The man spun around just as Eggsy ripped the cuffs off. Dr. Daedalus made a leap for the control system just as Eggsy whipped out the gun he had kept hidden underneath his dress shirt. Dr. Daedalus had only done a basic weapons check. Stupid.

The shot rang out in the warehouse just as the man slammed his fist on the button.

Nothing happened.

Eggsy watched as red blossomed from Dr. Daedalus's chest, spreading downwards as he stumbled, clutching his chest. Eggsy shrugged apologetically. Not that he was really that sorry.

But before the man's eyes glazed over, he smiled. A really, fucking, creepy-ass smile.

Eggsy's face fell as he felt a painful tingling sensation spreading throughout his body.

"Get out of the fucking way!" Merlin hollered in his ear.

Eggsy bolted to the side, making for the exit as the pins-and-needles feeling travelled all the way to his toes and the tips of his ears. He snarled, pushing himself faster until he burst out of the warehouse and into the bright Florida sunshine. A plain-looking car waited for him a block away, beside the curb in a no-parking zone. He jumped in and the car sped away.

Eggsy just managed to buckle himself in when the tingling worked its way to his forehead and he suddenly blacked out.

* * *

"He's waking up!" a familiar voice called as Eggsy shifted from his position on the hospital bed. He blinked blearily, wincing at the bright white lights of the infirmary.

"Nngh," Eggsy groaned. His tongue felt like a piece of wet cotton.

"Eggsy, oh my god, you scared the crap out of everyone," the same voice exclaimed, her face swimming in and out of Eggsy's vision. Slick, perfect ponytail, sharp cheekbones and warm brown eyes. Roxy.

"Roxghthy," Eggsy managed. He opened his mouth, making a face. He snapped his mouth shut and rolled his tongue a couple of times. It helped. "Roxy."

"Do you need water?" she asked, already bringing the straw to a glass of water to his lips. He nodded gratefully. A moment later, two figures burst through the door.

"Holy jesus, Eggsy," Merlin said, shaking his head. "You gave us quite a fright. No injuries but you were out for three whole days. Would've been a lot of extra paperwork I could do without," Merlin mused.

Three whole days?

Eggsy turned his gaze to the second man, a pleasant, warm sensation growing in his chest. Harry approached the bed carefully, eyes wide and lips pursed into a thin line. Roxy cleared her throat and took a step back, giving Harry some space.

"Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again," Arthur murmured, patting Eggsy's head gingerly. Eggsy grinned. Or tried to, anyways. The look that Harry was giving him made his chest squeeze.

"Sure thing, Harry."

"Good." Harry sighed, running a hand through his dark chocolate brown hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, actually," Eggsy responded truthfully. Now that he thought about it, he was feeling great. Refreshed, even. Other than his tongue. And a sharp-ish pain throbbing from his tailbone. He must've bruised his it after falling... or something like that.

"Eggsy."

"No, I'm serious, bruv. I feel really good, actually." Eggsy smiled. "I swear." He tilted his head on the pillows. "I feel like I could do another mission right now." Merlin laughed.

"Not for a while, I'm afraid. You're ordered to stay in bed for another week at least, and another three weeks after that until you can take a mission. We don't know what that serum did to you."

"Serum?" Eggsy asked.

"The blue liquid inside the tank," Merlin answered.

"Oh." Eggsy frowned. "Any ideas what it might've been?" Merlin shook his head.

"Don't know yet. By the time you left though, nearly three-quarters of it disappeared… probably into you."

"Well… nothing's happened to me yet, right?"

"Correct, which is why you need to be here another few days so we can keep an eye on you just in case something does happen." Eggsy tried to ignore the nervous tinge to Merlin's voice. Merlin glanced at his watch. "Well, Lancelot and I have some work to do, so we'll leave you with Harry for now." He shot the two men a cheeky smile before putting a hand on Roxy's shoulder and guiding her out of the infirmary.

"Well then," Harry said, breaking the long silence that followed after the door swung shut. He shifted uncomfortably, looking unsure of what to do.

It was fucking adorable.

"Sit," Eggsy commanded, patting the spot on the bed beside him. Harry simply raised an eyebrow before complying. Eggsy's heart fluttered briefly, but he scolded himself. Harry would never think of Eggsy in that way, the way he wanted him so, so badly to.

The conversation turned to other matters after that, and Eggsy noticed that Harry had relaxed visibly, even cracking a true smile every once in a while.

And it sure was one heck of a smile.

* * *

"Eggsy, you must be out of your mind. Merlin's going to kill you," Roxy whispered, leaning down to hear her friend's next words as he pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Come on, Rox. There's nothing wrong with me. Besides, I'm out of bed tomorrow anyways. One day won't hurt. Make that…" Eggsy glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. "Seven hours, actually. And I'm just going to go home, so I can at least pass out on my own bed and see Daisy and me mum."

"Well, what do you want me to do?" she asked, finally relenting. She could feel his restlessness, the way he felt lying in bed for an entire week for no noticeable reason.

"Just distract him while I make a break for it or summit, and if he finds me gone and freaks out just tell him."

"What? Why me?"

"Because he looooves you, Rox," Eggsy teased. Roxy turned a pretty shade of pink.

"Does not. Anyways," she continued, hastily changing the topic. "If I get my arse impaled on the front gate, you so owe me."

Just as Roxy turned to leave, Eggsy called to her, shaking with laughter.

"Your arse won't be impaled on the front gate, Rox. It'll be impaled on Merlin's co-"

Roxy threw a jar of cotton swabs at him.

* * *

Eggsy snuck out of the infirmary a half hour later, right after he knew Merlin had done his daily check-up of him and his vitals via his master control system in his private office. He slipped into a pair of sweats and a tee before taking the tube to the tailor shop.

When he arrived home, he was greeted by a good deal of squealing and many big kisses from his little sister and a tight hug from his mum. JB was snoozing in Eggsy's room, having stayed with the family while Eggsy was on his mission.

After his mum made them dinner, he played dress-up with Daisy before sweeping her up and delivering her to bed as soon as she started yawning, despite all her protests. Eggsy himself went to bed a few hours later, before midnight.

As soon as he closed his eyes though, a jolt of pain caused him to gasp loudly. A familiar stinging, prickling sensation began buzzing underneath his skin.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…" Eggsy muttered, reaching for the distress dial resting on his bedside table. Before he could make it though, the feeling travelled up to his forehead, and the world turned black.

* * *

When Eggsy opened his eyes, he was confused as fuck. Everything was a strange colour. And then there was the fact that his head felt like it had been nailed into a wall with a sledgehammer before getting run over by a truck carrying anvils with spiked wheels. He groaned.

What the fuck?

He made a noise.

It came out as a tiny, high-pitched whimper.

He tried to speak.

It came out as a bark.

No. No fucking way.

Eggsy tried to peer at himself, but all he could see was golden fur splotched with white.

And then he found himself face to face- literally, like eye-level to a familiar looking pug with a happy grin on his face.

Master Egg! the pug yipped.

J… JB?

Hahahahahaha doggy! JB replied cheerfully. JB began sniffing at his arse and Eggsy biffed him on the head with a golden paw- oh fuck, he had paws.

Damnit! What the fuck… oh, I get it, I must be fucking dreamin' this shit. Eggsy glanced around before getting up- holy fuck, four legs… this sure was a fucking strange-ass dream. He leaped off the bed, scrabbling for purchase on the smooth wood floor. He launched himself at the wall, ramming his head into it. Pain exploded from his head, but he didn't wake up.

What the actual fuck was this? He could talk to JB, he had paws, and he was a fucking puppy or something. He cocked his head to the side, suddenly curious. He padded towards the mirror hanging in his walk-in closet, using his nose to nudge open the door. God, this was strange. He was so fucking small. Everything seemed huge. Was this what it was like to be JB?

He took a good look at himself in the mirror.

Oh yeah. He was a fucking corgi. And he was fucking adorable. He wagged his tail a little- oh fuck, he even had a tail.

But this still didn't explain what the fuck was going on. He must've been dreaming.

And then it hit him.

The biochemical.

Fuck.

* * *

 ** _-_ agent galahad**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

* * *

Before Eggsy could do anything else, the door creaked open behind him. He whirled around as fast as he could, four legs making it slightly more difficult to maneuver his entire body. Oh god, this was so fucking weird.

A giant pink puff stared down at him.

No. It wasn't a giant, nor was it a puff, although definitely swathed in pink. It was Daisy. His little sister gaped at him, tiny fingers pressed to her chubby pink cheeks in over-the-top shock. She let out a high-pitched gasp, eyes wide and curious. Eggsy would bet good money that this little munchkin was going to be a mighty good actress one day.

"Puppy!" she squealed, tromping towards him in her fluffy pink tutu. She grabbed for Eggsy, but he managed to duck away and scamper underneath the bed. He peered up at the frightening mass of sugary, loud but cute girl, tail between his legs. JB was laughing somewhere near by, screw him.

They stared at each other.

"Puppy?" Daisy asked, more gently, sticking out a fat little hand under Eggsy's nose. He hesitated before nudging it briefly. She beamed. "Where Eggy?" she asked suddenly, flipping around to look up at the empty bed. "Mummy made brekky for Eggy. Where Eggy?"

Egg here! JB yipped, trotting happily to Daisy. Daisy stuffed a hand between JB's ears thoughtfully, before turning her gaze to Eggsy.

She knelt down, looking him directly in the eye.

"Eggy," she said, pointing straight at him, understanding shining in her eyes.

Well, apparently toddlers really did have some strange power to communicate with animals. Or annoying pugs, anyways.

Without another word, Daisy reached forward and pulled Eggsy into her arms, skipping out of the room with JB at her heels, jostling him rather painfully with every bounce.

Hahahahahahahaha, JB laughed. Eggsy recognized the sound now- a huffy noise that JB often made after Eggsy tripped or some such. Bloody tosser. I wonder what you'll look like with blue mascara and green eyeshadow. JB looks good in black y'know. Real sexy.

Shut up, Eggsy barked at him. God, this was so. Fucking. Weird.

"Daisy, baby, bacon's on the table- what the… sweets, is that a puppy?" Michelle asked as Daisy brought him into the kitchen. She nodded cheerfully.

"Eggy!" she cried.

"Where… did it… come from?" Michelle asked carefully, unbelieving of a puppy just appearing out of nowhere. That made the two of them.

"No, no," Daisy hollered, shaking her head. She pointed at Eggsy's head. "Eggy."

And that's when Eggsy smelled the bacon.

It occurred to him that he probably should've been able to smell it earlier, but maybe his doggy senses weren't quite fully developed yet. And besides, he was starving.

But anyways, one second he was in Daisy's arms, and the next he was snarfing down an entire platter of bacon. Michelle shrieked, grabbing for him, but he darted out of the way, just out of reach. Daisy and JB were both howling with laughter. Literally.

"Young lady!' Michelle yelled, face red. "You take that puppy out of the house, this instant!" Daisy's face fell.

"But… Eggy…"

"No! Out, right now!" Michelle commanded, waving her off.

Daisy looked so dejected that Eggsy couldn't help but whimper, ears turned down. Even JB had stopped laughing. Daisy finally nodded, climbing onto one of the dining room chairs just so she could reach up and collect Eggsy. She took him into the foyer of the house, opening the door and walking solemnly down the front path to the sidewalk.

"Sorry Eggy," she apologized sadly, setting him down on the ground. JB peered at him from behind Daisy's legs.

Bye Egg. See you later. JB stuck out his tongue, wagging his tail twice before retreating back into the house.

Daisy cast him one more sorry look before shutting the door in his face.

* * *

Eggsy stood there, jaw hanging, for what felt like an eternity. He had just been kicked out of his own house by his baby sister.

Irony was such a bitch.

Eggsy had no idea what to do now. Home meant safety, home meant a way to contact Kingsman… Kingsman! Of course. Why hadn't he thought of it before?

Eggsy set off at a quick trot, nails clicking against the cement.

It wouldn't take him that long to get to the shop, would it? Only about a half hour.

* * *

An hour later, Eggsy was ready to collapse from near exhaustion. It was so hot. And he was so thirsty, especially after all that damn bacon. Why the fucking hell wasn't he there yet?

He looked up, trying to get his bearings, looking for the Savile Row sign that surely must've been above his head.

Holy fuck.

He was like, only halfway there.

But then he realized something with startling clarity.

Harry's house was just two streets down.

Before Eggsy could sigh in relief though, a voice shattered his happy thoughts.

"Get that dog!" someone yelled.

And suddenly three beefy men wearing London Humane Society uniforms were upon him. Eggsy yelped, before dashing off.

"Hey!" he yelled.

Eggsy made a break for it, propelling his short legs as fast as they would go. He bolted in a zigzag pattern, causing two of the men, who had leapt for him at the same time, to crash into one another. The remaining man finally managed to corner him in between two walls of concrete.

Eggsy weighed his options. He could either stay where he was and hope for a chance to run, or he could try and run past the guy's legs. Or… a crazy idea popped into his brain.

Eggsy took a running start before leaping up and pushing himself off one of the walls, parkour style. The man gave a startled shout before lunging forward to grab for Eggsy.

Eggsy felt the man's fist close over one of his legs, and then he was falling safely into the man's tight arms.

"You, my friend, have been wandering around for way too long," he muttered.

What? Had these guys been trailing him for a while? Damn underdeveloped doggy senses.

If there was one thing Eggsy knew he needed to do, it was to get away from these guys. He squirmed and wiggled, trying to get free of the guy's solid as fuck grip. No such luck.

The other two men were approaching as well. Eggsy caught a glance of a small van that said London Humane Society on the side parked down the street. He began to panic.

He bit the guy on the arm.

"Ouch!" he yelled, nearly dropping Eggsy. The puppy gave one last wiggle and managed to tumble out of the man's arms. He landed on his butt. By the time the man had looked up, Eggsy was already hurtling away, going as fast as he fucking could.

He careened into a smaller street after crossing a road while the light was still green, darting past cars- it was fucking scary, but he managed. After all, he'd faced twenty armed men once weaponless. And the best part was that the three workers were forced to wait on the other side of the road for the red light to cross.

Eggsy nearly started sobbing when he finally found himself in front of Harry's house. He began scratching at the door desperately, barking.

Oh god, what if he wasn't even home?

But then the door opened and there stood Harry Hart, looking as fucking handsome as usual. Eggsy looked up at him, cocking his little face at the man and making his eyes big and round in a way that he knew was fucking adorable and utterly unresistable.

"Hello," Harry said, hesitating only a moment before leaning down and fingering the area beneath Eggsy's chin, looking for a collar. "Huh," was all he said when he found nothing. He glanced at the various scratch marks on his door, narrowing his eyes.

"Where'd that puppy go?" someone shouted in the distance. The humane society worker. Pounding feet, drawing closer. Eggsy pushed down the nauseating feeling in his stomach at the thought of getting caught.

Eggsy wagged his tail as Harry petted his head absentmindedly.

Finally, Harry shrugged before scooping Eggsy up beneath his middle and carrying him inside.

Harry was practically a fucking dognapper.

Not that Eggsy was complaining, especially as he buried his nose into Harry's chest.

And he smelled so fucking good.

It was like a drug.

It was a drug.

Oh god.

Fucking corgi-thoughts.

* * *

"Hello, there," Harry murmured, cradling Eggsy close.

This is fucking amazing, was the only thought in Eggsy's mind as he inhaled Harry's scent.

"What's your name, hm?" Harry crooned, voice low and soothing. If Eggsy had been human, he was sure he would be a moaning mess of sweet bliss from just hearing Harry talk to him like that. He mentally slapped himself, but it was one-hundred-and-one percent fucking useless.

Eggsy gazed up at Harry, the older man's dark eyes soft and gentle.

Fuck, Harry never looked at Eggsy like that.

But then again, Eggsy usually wasn't an adorable corgi puppy either.

"Let's name you… Eggy, shall we?"

Eggsy's mouth fell open. Eggy? Really?

Harry took his reaction as a yes and brought Eggsy into the living room, setting him on the ground.

"We'll have to see if you ran away from someone first, though, Eggy. And then if not, I'll take you to the vet and get you a nice collar and doggy bed, alright?"

Eggsy barked. He didn't want to go to the vet.

"Sorry, Eggy." Harry stroked Eggsy between his ears, a thoughtful expression on his face. "You have the same colour fur as his hair, you know," he added wistfully.

Same as who?

No.

No fucking… oh god, Harry had a secret lover didn't he?

"I could just run my hands through his hair all day if he'd let me. But that's ridiculous," Harry murmured, sighing.

Nooooooooooooo… Harry was in love with some bloody blond tosser.

And it wasn't him.

* * *

 **Hey Eggy, you sure 'bout that? XD SUFFER MY LITTLE CORGI FRIEND MWAHAHA  
**

 **-agent galahad**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

* * *

A loud knock sounded from the front door. Harry glanced out the large bay windows and scooped Eggsy up before hiding him behind the leather sofa in the centre of the room.

"You stay _here,_ alright, love?" Harry asked gently but firmly, poking Eggsy's nose with his index finger. "I know you're a good boy." Where else would- no, could- Eggsy go? Nope, he was just going to sit here and be miserable, wallowing miserably in his miserable thoughts. Eggsy curled up onto his side and put his nose between his paws, listening silently as Harry walked to the foyer and opened the door.

"Hello," Harry greeted pleasantly as he answered the door. "How may I help you?" he asked politely, ever the gentleman.

"Erm, sorry to bother you sir," a familiar voice began, "but we have a puppy on the loose… and he disappeared down this street, and well, you have claw marks on your door, so we just wanted to ask…?"

"Oh," Harry said, frowning. "That's terribly unfortunate. I'm sorry to say I haven't seen the puppy. I'll keep an eye out for him, though. The claw marks are from my previous dog, actually. He died a few years back and I simply didn't have the heart to refurnish the front door." A mischievous glint shone in his eyes. "Would you like to see him?"

"Your… your dead dog, sir?" the man asked, blinking.

"Yes, just come right this way." Harry opened the door further and led the man into the loo.

Eggsy covered his snout with his paws, tail wagging furiously.

There was a sudden, loud exhale, followed by a surprised "ah".

"That's… erm… awfully nice of you… to keep your… dog in the loo."

"Yes, thank you." Eggsy could imagine Harry just standing there, blinking innocently while that poor man squirmed awkwardly under his gaze.

"Thank you, sir. I'll just be… going now, then." A moment later the man passed by, walking rather quickly out the door. Harry followed at a much more relaxed pace, locking the door. He came back into the living room. He sat down on the sofa, sighing and continuing his rather one-way conversation from before, as if he hadn't been interrupted in the least.

"It would be so inappropriate to pursue a relationship with him." Harry patted the spot beside him and Eggsy trotted forwards from his hiding spot. He jumped but missed by a couple of inches. _You've got to be fucking kiddin' me,_ he huffed. _I can do parkour and not_ this?

Harry chuckled, and Eggsy froze at the unanticipated noise, staring at Harry in wonder.

He'd never heard the man actually laugh before.

And god, it was amazing.

He'd do anything to hear it again.

So Eggsy backed up a bit, and launched himself at the sofa, missing by only a bit. Unfortunately, he hit the leather face-first and came tumbling down.

Harry's laughter deepened.

 _NOOOOOOOOOOO WHY IS IT SO SEXY THAT SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED_ , he thought to himself, internally screaming. He looked up at Harry, tiny little stubby tail wagging and tongue hanging out of his mouth.

One more time.

Eggsy galloped towards the sofa, leaping with all his might. He made it onto the sofa, sprawling out on the cushion with his tummy exposed. Harry gave it a rub.

"Excellent work, Eggy."

* * *

MEANWHILE

* * *

"Roxanne Morton, where in the fucking fuck did Eggsy go?" Merlin growled, eyes narrowed and arms folded.

"I have no idea."

"Must be at Harry's." Merlin immediately rang Harry, of whom picked up promptly.

"Merlin," Harry greeted curtly, eyes dark and serious.

Said eyes, of course, defying the shit-eating grin he had on while he rubbed the tummy of a very happy looking golden corgi.

"The… the fuck is going on over there?" Merlin asked after a good ten second silence.

"I have a new pet. His name is Eggy," Harry replied conversationally, as if this was completely normal.

"On that… note, do you know where Eggsy is?" Merlin asked.

"What?" Harry asked, momentarily freezing.

"Agent Galahad is missing."

The two men were suddenly distracted by a loud yelping noise. Eggy had bounded up onto Harry's lap and was looking directly into the Kingsman Spec frames, desperately trying to get attention.

"Eggsy… is… missing?" Harry breathed, face falling into an utterly terrified expression, as he attempted to shove Eggy off his lap. Eggy was preoccupied by trying to get the attention of a certain blonde haired female.

Eggsy could just barely make out a very faint, lithe figure on the lenses. Roxy had her hands clapped over her gaping mouth. Eggsy sighed in relief.

Roxy was a certainly clever little fox.

But then the feed was abruptly cut off as Harry ripped off his glasses and sent them flying across the room into the unlit fireplace. A small dent appeared in the poor brickwork thanks to the bullet-proof material that had saved Harry's life two years prior. And Harry's mean-ass swing.

"This isn't happening," Harry muttered, rubbing his face in his hands. He swore violently, causing Eggy to roll off Harry's lap in surprise. Eggsy tried desperately to regain his balance but despite his exuberant efforts, flipped off the cushion accidentally and landed on his face on the floor below.

Harry barely noticed.

Eggsy whimpered, tail between his legs. And he began thinking. Thoughts tumbled through his mind.

Why in the world was Harry so… affected?

 _Could… could it be?_

* * *

 **AN: That took bloody forever to write.** As well, I realized what a _**crap job**_ I did on the first two chapters because I _am sad and beta-less_ so I've fixed them up a bit. And changed 'Dr. Daedus's' name to Daedalus because come on, that was admittedly lame.

Thanks for reading this… erm… crap. :)

 **-agentgalahad**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

* * *

Merlin was seething. Roxy could practically see the steam billowing out of his ears.

"What did I tell him?" he snapped, striding into his private office. She followed nimbly behind him, quickening her pace to match his angry gait. He turned on her, eyes blazing. It was at these times that she felt sorry for whatever poor sods were in Merlin's bad books, Eggsy apparently now being one of them. "What did I tell him?"

"To stay in bed for a week," she drawled, looking up towards the heavens for aid.

"And what did he do?" he asked, voice deathly quiet as he tapped away at his tablet.

"Not stay in bed for a week," she answered with a sigh. "He's probably at Harry's house."

"When I get my hands on that little…" Merlin grumbled. He opened the tracker app on the tablet. "Well, fuck me. He _is_ at Harry's house. Probably just got there, judging by the look on Harry's face from earlier. Stricken, pining bastard." Merlin pursed his lips. "I will flay Eggsy alive and deep-fry his skin," he muttered. Roxy's eyes widened and she let out a snort of laughter. Merlin spun around, expression livid. "What's so funny?" he exclaimed.

"Don't be pissy to me," she retorted, tsking. "I've seen you at your worst moments, Teddy, so I've got files and files of blackmail material. Accidents happen all the time. Just a silly little slip of my finger on a keyboard… I wonder what the others will think of your Iron Man lunchbox."

"You wouldn't dare…" he hissed, eyes narrowing. She gave him a wicked grin, leaning in close. Merlin's throat bobbed as he swallowed, lips parting.

"As I said… accidents happen, darling."

* * *

"No, no, no, no…" Harry muttered, pacing. He flung open his liquor cabinet, only to shut it moments later. He needed to keep his mind sharp. Where would Eggsy go? Home? No, he had just come from home. A pub, then? Where, where, where?

His com buzzed from its sad corner in the unlit fireplace.

To say that Harry nearly tripped over himself in getting to it was a slight understatement.

In the back of his mind, a nasty little voice whispered to him. _This is a weakness._

He shoved it away as he regained his composure and slid the frames onto the bridge of his nose.

"Galahad."

"Yes, yes, cut the bullshit. Just wanted to let you know that we know where he is now. No thanks to you," Merlin added snarkily. He gave Harry a very knowing look. "Nice to know he's safe." Merlin hung up before Harry could further question the man.

Eggsy was safe. Safe. Fine.

Harry's knees nearly buckled with relief.

The sound of nails clicking on the floor approached. He hadn't even noticed Eggy's disappearance.

Eggy peered up at him, head tilted, ears twitching and tail thumping. In his mouth, he carried a long length of rope, scavenged from god knew where while Harry was distracted.

"Clever boy," Harry murmured, eyes softening. He buried his palm between the puppy's ears, rubbing softly. Eggy grinned toothily, tongue hanging out. "You want to go for a walk?" Harry held out a hand for the makeshift leash and tossed it into the corner when Eggsy dropped it into his hand. "You're smart enough not to walk in front of traffic, yes?" Eggsy's eyes lit up, and his tail thumped even harder against the dark, oakwood flooring. Harry took his answer as a yes.

Eggsy was safe. And that was what was important.

* * *

Mud. There was mud. Everywhere. On his face, on his paws, coating his fur. Yet he still kept rolling in the stuff, so happy that he felt like he was going to explode from joy.

But then Harry came around the corner. He slowly- too slowly- took in the sight of the now dark brown dog, whistled sharply and turned on his heel, back the way he came.

Eggy was definitely fucked.

* * *

"Why," Harry began, rubbing his temple, "must have you rolled around in the muck, darling?" Harry asked, sighing through his nose as he rolled up his sleeves and carried Eggsy an arm's length away up the stairs to his masterbedroom, nudging the door to the adjoining bathroom open with his foot.

Harry had called Eggsy… darling. Eggsy beamed inwardly.

Harry set to work filling the tub, fiddling with the taps. At the last moment, he added in a few drops of scented oil, filling the room with a lovely smell. Eggsy sniffed daintily, nose in the air.

"Cedarwood," Harry provided, kneeling at the foot of the bath. "In you get," Harry added, sliding his hands around Eggsy's middle and lifting him up and over the edge of the tub.

It suddenly hit Eggsy that he most definitely did not want to go anywhere near the water.

Harry ended up manhandling him. Eggsy struggled, and soon they were both soaking wet. Harry cursed loudly, glaring at the state of his wet clothing.

Eventually, Eggsy calmed, and Harry started to wash him with some special shampoo with a puppy label on it, gently scrubbing his fur with large, warm hands. Eggsy sighed. This wasn't bad. At all.

He must've died somewhere along the way to Harry's house, because this was pure heaven.

And then Harry started humming.

It was a quiet, soft sort of thing, thoughtless. A little smile played on Harry's lips as he bathed Eggsy in the sudsy water. And then he started singing.

It was the fucking most fucking beautiful fucking sound he had ever heard in his fucking life. Eggsy recognized the song at once. He sang along in his head.

" _L is for the way you look at me… O is for the only one I see… V is very, very extraordinary… E is even more than anyone that you adore…"_ Eggsy could have listened all day. Too soon, he finished the song. Harry huffed, dunking his hands in the water and wiping them on a towel. He sat back on his haunches, expression dreamy.

Dreamy.

Harry… Harry Hart. _Dreamy._

"Oh, Eggy," he murmured. "I don't know how much longer I can hold out." Harry sighed again.

Eggy cocked his head to the side, eyes inquiring, as if to say, _what do you mean?_

"I'm being ridiculous. It's just that… that look on his face when I came back."

Look on whom's face?

"Those green eyes. He's terrible. So terrible. I can't stand it. But I can never stay mad at him for long, especially when he does that stupid smirk. Oh, he's even more ridiculous than I am. That damn _swagger._ " Harry cursed.

Who was he talking about?

"You know, the main reason I took you in," Harry mused, stroking Eggy's ears, "is because you remind me so much of him."

Eggsy's heart started to pound.

"I even named you after him."

Eggsy's heart stopped.

"Eggsy Unwin," Harry finally sighed. "The boy who stole my heart."

Eggsy passed out in the bathtub.

* * *

 **I swear I haven't forgotten all of you or my stories. I've been so busy, but nonetheless, it's a terrible excuse, and I apologize for the outrageously late and short update. Until next time.**

 **-agentgalahad**


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